Seiji's Love Letters
by beancounter22765
Summary: It's been ten years since Seiji's confession to Shiharu and he has a surprise for her. Could forging ahead mean going back to the beginning?
1. Home Again

Seiji's Love Letters

Chapter 1 – Home Again

Seiji parked the car in front of the house and got out. He walked around and opened Shiharu's door for her. She hesitated briefly before taking Seiji's proffered hand. Seiji knew from the distant look in her eyes that Shiharu was being flooded with memories.

He motioned for her to precede him to the house but she smiled softly, shook her head, and said, "You go in. I'll be just a few minutes."

"Don't be long," he replied with a knowing look on his face. He squeezed her hand gently, turned, and went into the house.

Seiji was dealing with his own flood of memories at the moment, though probably more recent than Shirharu's.

* * *

 _Just two weeks ago, Seiji and Shiharu arrived late to the family gathering. Aoi-kun and Akane-chan rushed to give Shiharu a hug as soon as she came through the door and pulled her over to talk to their cousins._

 _Kouichi, their father, greeted his brother, and asked, "Hey, Seiji, why were you two late? I thought you arranged to take the day off."_

 _Seiji grinned sheepishly and answered, "Shiharu had a doctor appointment today and it took longer than expected."_

" _There is nothing wrong, I hope," Kouichi asked anxiously._

 _Shiharu came back over and took Seiji's hand shyly. Seiji kissed Shiharu's temple and smiled broadly. "Nothing is wrong. We wanted to let the whole family know at once. We are expecting twins!"_

 _After everyone had congratulated them on their good news, Kouichi pulled Seiji aside. "Seiji, you and Shiharu should move into the house. I know it's farther from your job but it is closer to the daycare center where Shiharu works. It would also be a better place to raise a family than that tiny apartment you are in now."_

 _Seiji pulled his brother into a tight hug and said, "Thank you so much. That means a lot to both of us."_

" _I hope you and Shiharu will be as happy there as Misaki and I were," Kouichi said in a tight voice with misty eyes._

* * *

After taking his shoes off in the entryway, Seiji made his way to his old bedroom. Reaching to the back of his top drawer, he pulled out a large envelope. It had been ten years since he had hidden it there and now it was time to give it to Shiharu.

Meanwhile outside, Shiharu was dealing with the kaleidoscope of memories. It had been about twelve years ago that she had first come to Matsunaga Seiji's house as a babysitter for the twins, Aoi-kun and Akane-chan. Seiji was not the twins' father. That was his older brother, Kouichi. Kouichi disappeared after the death of his wife, Misaki, in a traffic accident. At that time, Seiji had been twenty-five and a very popular television announcer. During the first three months after he had taken responsibility for the twins, they had cried constantly and were afraid of strangers, even him. There had been a series of housekeepers and babysitters but none had lasted very long because of the constant crying of the twins.

Shiharu grew up in an orphanage because her father died before she was born and her mother died when Shiharu was five years old. She never knew her father's family and her mother's relatives did not want her. During her years in the orphanage, she found that she liked to care for the younger children and it became her dream to run a daycare center of her own.

When she was sixteen she got a job in the daycare facility attached to the orphanage where she lived. The job would give her experience and help her earn money to pay for her university education. Shiharu started working at the daycare a week before she met Seiji. The twins were usually afraid of strangers but they took to Shiharu right away.

Usually Shiharu was not there when Seiji picked up the twins so he was surprised when he arrived later than usually to find Aio-kun and Akane-chan clinging to a daycare worker. After a conversation with the sensei, Seiji offered Shiharu a job as babysitter for the twins.

 _Coming to the house for the first time…the trip to the supermarket…meeting Takeru…the house key…Christmas…the New Year trip to the shrine…meeting Oikawa…Valentine's Day…zoo trip…the rainy day…Tanabata…the barbeque…the school festival…Halloween…Matsunaga-san ill…White Day…Home Center trip…Spring Festival…library…strawberry picking…fireworks…aquarium visit…twins' third birthday…trip to the twins' grandparents…kaki granny…amusement park trip…twins' errand…Matsunaga-san's confession…Kouichi's return…sleepover for twins last day before move…_

Shiharu shook her head to clear away the cascading memories. She had not been to the house in ten years. That was when she said goodbye to the twins as they moved to their grandparents' home in Shizouka. It was also when Seiji moved to an apartment closer to his work. Back then Seiji had been Matsunaga-san and Shiharu had been Nakamura-san as appropriate for their employer/employee relationship.

Shiharu and Seiji had been married for three years and were now expecting their own set of twins. Although their apartment was closer to work for Seiji, they decided that they would rather raise their family in the house. They had come here today to see what would be needed to furnish the house and move in.

Hesitating briefly at the front door, Shiharu opened it and announced, "I'm home."

Chuckling, Seiji responded, "Welcome home. That brings back so many memories."

After Shirharu removed her shoes, Seiji took her hand and pulled her close. Pressing a kiss to her temple, he led her into the kitchen and pulled out the chair so she could sit at the table. On the table lay a large envelope with writing on the front of it.

Seiji picked up the envelope and handed it to Shiharu. "I originally intended to give you this after the ten years if you decided you wanted to begin a relationship with me. Although we have been married for three years, I still want you to have these. I'm going to look through the house to see what needs to be done. I want you to sit here and read these," Seiji said with a slight blush.

Shiharu looked quizzically at Seiji's back as he left the room. Finally she looked down at the envelope in her hands. The writing said, "To be opened ten years after Aoi-kun and Akane-chan move to their grandparents' home." Curious, Shiharu opened the envelope and pulled out the small stack of papers neatly held together with a clip. The top sheet appeared to be a letter and it was signed, "Seiji." Shiharu began reading.

* * *

 _Tonight I told Nakamura-san that I love her and I gave her a ring. Because she is only seventeen (she will be eighteen next month), I cannot act on these feelings right now. Before confessing any of this to her, I visited the graves of her parents and considered what they might say if they were still alive to counsel her. Based on that consideration, I have offered to wait ten years for her to experience life, meet new people, and travel to new places. If she wants me after those ten years, I will give her these letters._

 _I started writing them just after I met her as a way to contain and control my feelings. Although I had girlfriends in high school and university, none of them have ever made me feel the way Shiharu makes me feel. I doubt anyone else ever will. I fell in love with her the first time I saw her with the twins clinging to her happily. The past two years have been so precious to me and I can only hope that in ten years she will return my feelings and we can spend the rest of our lives together._

 _Seiji_

* * *

Shiharu sighed and a blush colored her cheeks as she started to read Seiji's love letters to her.


	2. Beginnings

Seiji's Love Letters

Chapter 2 – Beginnings

Dear Shiharu,

The first time I saw you, I thought I had fallen asleep in the taxi and was dreaming. To walk into the daycare center and see Aoi-kun and Akane-chan happy and clinging to a young woman was something I had not expected. They were so frightened of strangers and had been crying almost constantly since the death of their mother and the disappearance of their father. Because I had not seen you there before, I assumed you were a newly hired university graduate. I knew without a doubt that I needed you as the babysitter for the twins.

The past three months the twins had been in my charge had left me so sleep deprived that I did not realize that I expressed my request improperly. The scandalized looks on your face and that of the sensei made me realize that my request could be taken as a marriage proposal. I quickly clarified that I meant as a babysitter, not a wife. I offered to pay double the amount the daycare center was paying her just for the smiles on Aoi-kun and Akane-chan's faces.

Your gentle smile was enchanting as you explained that you would have to get the approval from the head of the institution before you could accept the job. When I questioned you about that, you explained that you had been orphaned at age five, lived in the orphanage for eleven years, and would be living there for two more. I was stunned. I had assumed that you were twenty-one or twenty-two, not sixteen. No wonder the scandalized looks at my proposition.

It was good thing that the daycare center was connected to the orphanage so the head of the institution was already aware of my situation. She had interviewed me after I applied for daycare for the twins. Otherwise, I do not think she would have approved of a sixteen year old girl working in the home of the twenty-five year old man, even as a babysitter.

The first day you came to the house I know you were shocked at the state of it…and me. The obvious neglect of my appearance and the house must have had you doubting your decision to accept the job. When the twins came to greet you, I simply could not keep my eyes open any longer. Knowing that you were there for the twins, I fell asleep right there in the hallway.

Hours later when I woke up I was completely confused. How had I gotten onto the futon? Why were the twins not climbing all over me wanting food or to play? Had something terrible happened while I slept?

When I opened the door and looked into the living room, I was stunned. The place was clean, the twins were helping, and they were happy. Nothing I did ever got them pick up after themselves or help me clean up.

I'm sorry I startled you with the revelation that I am not the twins' father. Because the head of the institution knew I was single and taking care of my brother's children, I thought you knew as well. Obviously, I was still too sleep deprived to be thinking straight.

I fell in love with you all over again when I returned from work that evening. The house was spotless and the twins happily greeted me at the door. You were sound asleep on the table and I placed a blanket on your shoulders. I was mesmerized by your sleeping form and the twins quietly watching over you. I do not know what I was thinking as I knelt down to look closely at your face. Maybe somewhere in my muddled thoughts was the idea of waking the sleeping princess with a kiss. You must have sensed my proximity because you woke abruptly and jumped away from me.

I should not have grabbed you roughly as we argued about my accompanying you back to the institution that night, but I feared for your safety at such a late hour. It was already past curfew and, although it was not a great distance, anything could happen. We barely knew each other but I could not abide even the slightest chance that I might lose you.

At least Aoi-kun's interruption forestalled any further arguments. You surprised me when you asked permission to come in the mornings to get the twins ready and take them to daycare. I granted my permission, or rather accepted your generous offer, that was a great help to me. I sincerely hope that my desire to have you here helping with the twins does not interfere with your school and social life.

Walking you home so late at night and just talking was special to me—no twins, no scrutiny, just you and me in the moonlight.

The next morning when the twins greeted you with "Welcome home" and you responded with "I'm home," I felt my heartrate increase with the pleasure of knowing that you were considering yourself part of the household—part of our family.

Love, Seiji


	3. The Supermarket

Seiji's Love Letters

Chapter 3 – The Supermarket

Dear Shiharu,

Today was a swirl of emotions. First, I was afraid that something terrible had happened to you and twins. Then there was the anger at the man who was being so loud and threatening over a simple accident. Next was pride at the actions of my family. Then relief that everyone was unhurt. Finally was the overwhelming sense of love and compassion. I do not know when I have ever felt like this before.

I am so glad that I decided to stop at the supermarket on my way home from work. I wish I had arrived sooner, before the spill and before the anger. At least I was in time to defuse the situation. It pained me to see you so distressed at a situation so out of your control. All I could do was place my hand on your shoulder and gently push you behind me as I defended you and the twins. I know how difficult it can be to shop with the twins along and how many things can go wrong.

Thank you for the way you kept Akane-chan calm and safe. It amazes me how, in such as short time, you have been able to gently train the twins in such things as apologies. Thank you for helping her apologize properly in the face of that man's anger. Accidents happen and you handled the situation very well.

I could tell by the look on your face that you felt responsible for the accident but you have been doing so much more than the babysitting you were hired to do. Shopping was not part of what was expected of you but you took the twins and did it anyway because it needed to be done.

There is no other way to say it—without you, we would not be able to survive. The comparison between my first three months with the twins and the moment you came into our lives has been blatantly obvious—the lack of crying on the part of the twins, a full night's sleep for everyone, and my being able to concentrate at work. I am truly thankful for all that you do for our family.

When you started to cry, I just wanted to wrap you in my arms and kiss away your tears. I guiltily realized that it would be scandalous if I did that with the twins there and who knows how many neighbors watching from the nearby houses. It touched my heart when Akane-chan comforted you and you smiled and said you were all right. This show of compassion was just more proof of how much you have impacted the lives of Akane-chan and Aoi-kun. I am so proud to consider you part of our family.

Love, Seiji

Shiharu had to stop and wipe away tears as she smiled softly. She remembered that day so well. When Seiji placed his hand on her shoulder, stepped in front of her, and said, "Has my family done something?", that was the moment that she had fallen in love with him. It was months later before she realized it.


	4. The Key

Seiji's Love Letters

Chapter 4 – The Key

Dear Shiharu,

After the incident at the supermarket, I was aware of how you were gently training the twins. I just recently realized that you have been doing the same thing with me, though I doubt you were consciously doing it.

I first noticed my change in attitude when Aoi-kun sprayed me with the hose. Previously I would have gotten upset but this time I grinned. The cold water felt so refreshing even though I looked ridiculous. I appreciated your concern and the towel you handed me. It was gratifying to me when Aoi-kun apologized without being prompted. I also noticed the look of satisfaction of his face when I told him, "Well said."

I was more embarrassed by Takeru's accusations than I was by my appearance. I apologize for his accusations about our relationship. I know it was petty of me not to properly introduce you to Takeru but I have to admit that I was a little jealous. He is attractive and closer to your age than I am. There was also the fact that I needed to leave for work and Takeru was still there with you.

Maybe the jealousy was the reason that I brought home the bouquet of flowers for you. I guess I was a little embarrassed about my jealousy so I made an excuse about the flowers being left over at the studio. I had no idea Aoi-kun would be so upset about the flowers since I did not know about the incident in the park.

I admit that I was upset when Aoi-kun accepted your explanation about the difference between the park flowers and the bouquet I brought home and ignored mine. Then I realized that you were showing me how to interact with the twins on their level rather than expecting them to be on my level. I'm not sure you thought anything like that abut I still got the message.

I don't know if it was the long day or the soothing sound of your voice as you read to the twins, but I could not keep my eyes open. I was having a very vivid dream that the twins were climbing all over me while I was trying to sleep, a flashback to the first three months when that was a common occurrence. I should not have grabbed you like I did. When I realized how tangled up we were after I dragged you into my lap, I panicked. I'm sorry I shoved you off my lap so abruptly but I was startled at my own forwardness. I was appalled at myself for the intimate situation I put us in. Since you rushed home right after that incident, I worried all night that my actions had offended you and you would not want to return to the house to babysit.

The next day I waited anxiously for you to arrive. I was exhausted from the restless sleep and it didn't help that Takeru left his little sister, Mana, with me while he ran some errands. That was probably the reason I didn't know why Aoi-kun bit Mana and what events precipitated the situation that erupted just as you arrived and Takeru returned.

Thank you for following Aoi-kun and bringing him back safely. With Takeru's help, we figured out that Mana was the instigator of the incident when she beheaded Akane-chan's doll. Because of your example, I was able to apologize to Aoi-kun about my outburst before I had the facts about the incident. It was so cute to have him then tell me, "Well said." Your adorable laugh wrapped the whole tangle of emotions up on a happy note.

When you reminded me that I needed to get ready for work that afternoon, I remembered that I still had not given you the key to the house. I had tried so many times to give it to you but things kept interrupting. At first I couldn't understand your reluctance to take the key. It flustered me when I had to hold your hand so I could lay the key in it. I didn't realize that it would take so much to convince you that I wanted you to have the key. In my mind, it only made sense for you to have it because you would be bring the twins home from daycare at times I would not be home from work yet. My heart fluttered at the expression on your face when I told you, "To me, and to Akane and Aoi, your existence is more important then anyone else's."

When you finally accepted the key, your reaction was just too cute for words. Watching the excitement you displayed as you locked and unlocked the door with the key made me smile. Then I realized that you had never had a key, I was embarrassed by the joy I felt at this "first" that I had given to you. I'll never forget the look of absolute delight on your face.

Love, Seiji


	5. Christmas

Seiji's Love Letters

Chapter 5 – Christmas

Dear Shiharu,

I just returned home from the institute and our apologies to the head for you being out after curfew. I know you wanted to take all the blame but we invited you and you went to so much trouble to be there. Despite being chastised by the head of the institute, I do not regret anything about our Christmas together. Thank you for reminding me how Christmas should be and for keeping Christmas happy for the twins.

When the twins started demanding a party for Christmas, I was resistant. Christmas was not a special time for my family while I was growing up. My father spent most of his time with his mistress and my mother spent most of her time working. My brother and I could hardly celebrate Christmas all by ourselves so we didn't bother. More recently there have been Christmas parties at work but those were more obligation than celebration.

I mentioned the planned party at the establishment as a way of justifying saying "no" to a Christmas party. However, when I saw that wistful look in your eyes as you talked about how you hadn't had a party at home in more than ten years and you thought it would be nice to have one, I knew I had to say "yes." You looked so surprised when I grabbed your shoulders and said, "Let's do this." Thank you for convincing me to have the party and for all you did to get the house ready.

It still amazes me how the twins adore you and how much better behaved they have become since you started babysitting them. They insisted on making Christmas presents for you all by themselves.

I was disappointed when you called to say you would not be able to come because one of the kids at the institute was sick and she wanted you to sit with her until she felt better. I was glad that I at least got to hear the sound of your lovely voice. To say that the twins were not happy would be an understatement. I half expected that you would be able to hear their wails all the way to the institute.

I was surprised when the doorbell rang so late at night. You had already called to say you were not coming and it was already after your ten o'clock curfew. I was stunned when I saw it was you after all. When I realized that you snuck out to come to the party, I could not help be feel flattered that you cared enough for us to do something like that. That is why I insisted on accompanying you back to the institute—after we had our Christmas party, of course.

I really enjoyed our Christmas party together. The look of joy on you face when the twins gave you their presents was so cute. Your gifts for the twins were perfect. I expect those charms with their name and my phone number will be very handy.

I was a little surprised at your reaction to receiving a gift from me. You mentioned the things that I had already given you but those few things pale in comparison to all that you have given me. There are probably some things that you don't even know that you gave me. You have given me so much in these past few months. I cannot express how much the twins' happiness, the clean house, the homemade meals, uninterrupted sleep, and your smiling face have meant to me.

The most important thing that you gave me was my career. The day we met I had given notice to my supervisor that I needed to transfer out of my dream job as a TV announcer into something with more regular hours so I could more properly raise the twins. My supervisor was not happy with my request because I was so popular and he insisted that the program ratings depended entirely upon my face. My conversation with my supervisor was the reason that I was late picking up Aoi-kun and Akane-chan that day. Because I was late, I met you. By agreeing to be a babysitter for me, you saved my dream.

Was it the late hour after a long day? Was it the feeling of peace and serenity like I have never felt before? Or was it your gentle eyes, silky hair, and pale pink lips? As I sat there next to you, I realized that Aoi-kun and Akane-chan were in the other room and no neighbors could see us. You looked so sweet and inviting and I felt so drawn to you that I leaned in to kiss you. Who knows what might have happened if there hadn't been that crash from the room where the twins were.

As you took Akane-chan to the bedroom to change her clothes, I realized what I had almost done. Without the interruption, I don't know where a kiss would have led. What was I thinking!? I am twenty-five and you are sixteen. There are certain moral codes that I have to conform to as an adult and especially for my high-profile job. Here you had given me my dream back and I almost sabotaged it in the heat of the moment.

I do love you. But I also know that I have to wait until you have come of age before I can pursue that type of relationship with you. You are much too precious to me to ruin things thoughtlessly.

Love, Seiji


	6. New Year's

Seiji's Love Letters

Chapter 6 – New Year's

Dear Shiharu,

After the rough day I had reporting on the New Year's Day celebration at the Hougon Shrine, I was uneasy when you told me your plans to take Aoi-kun and Akane-chan to visit the local shrine. The crowds could be overwhelming for the twins and, more importantly, there are groups of boys who hang out there to take advantage of girls, especially attractive ones like you. Given your determination to go, I was just as determined to accompany you.

This was the first outing that the four of us took together, if you don't count the walk home from the supermarket after the spill incident.

You looked so adorable when we met outside the shrine. It warmed my heart to see you wearing the scarf I gave you for Christmas. With all that happened that night, I never got to see you open your present. I was definitely glad I insisted on coming along.

Even though it was several days after New Year's, the shrine was still very crowded. With the crowds, I was surprised to run into my friend, Oikawa. I apologize for Oikawa's remark about you being my wife and the twins being our children. He always makes forward, insensitive, and, in some cases, scandalous remarks. I'm glad he has such a short attention span so he didn't insist on hanging around us.

On the other hand, it was a pleasure to meet your friend, Rio. It's a relief to know that you have such a good friend. I hope you didn't mind that I told her how important you are to us and that we consider you part of our family. Remember that you need a social life away from work.

I am so sorry that those fans pushed you away from me when they mobbed me. I heard you cry out but I couldn't get to you. Getting away from them was not easy, especially carrying to the twins. Then I was so turned around that I couldn't find you and I still had to hide from time to time to avoid my "adoring" fans.

When you were separated from us, I was worried about you for the same reason I insisted on coming along in the first place. As cute as you were dressed today, you were sure to attract the attention of those boys that hang around the shrine looking for girls to accost.

More than once, I wished you had a cell phone so I could just call you to arrange a place to meet. I was even more anxious to locate you when a boy was calling for his mom and dad after they were separated in the crowds. Akane-chan and Aoi-kun started asking questions about where their parents were. I told them that their father was somewhere in the world but I was unsure how to explain the death of their mother to them.

On one hand I was relieved when I heard you call my name. On the other hand, I could hear the panic in your voice. I was so glad to find you but I was furious with the boys who were laying their hands on you. I'm afraid I let my anger get the better of me and I threatened them. Thankfully they had enough sense to walk away.

I wish we could have had more time to talk about the attack on you by those boys. I wish I could have held you close to comfort you and let you know you were safe. I'm sorry I patted you on the head like I would do to Aoi-kun or Akane-chan. It gave me a twinge of regret when you brushed it off as something your father would have done if he were there. I definitely do not want you to view me as a father figure.

Thank you for your gently way of explaining the death of their mother to the twins. In the future, they will find out the deeper meaning of death. For now your simple explanation, like the one about the flowers, will give them peace of mind. I had doubts about the candy floss "clouds" that you gave them, considering the messes they are capable of making. I should have known that you would be prepared. Sometimes I have trouble remember that you are just sixteen. You are so much more mature than that.

Thank you for the wonderful day and the opportunity to give the twins special memories of the New Year.

Love, Seiji


	7. Valentine's Day

Seiji's Love Letters

Chapter 7 – Valentine's Day

Dear Shirharu,

I know you saw all the chocolates that I received today. But I need you to know that the chocolates that you gave me are the only ones I care about. You don't seem to realize just how special something homemade is. It makes me very happy that you put the time and thought into making the chocolates for me.

Your thoughtfulness reminds me of that Sunday that I had you come because I was called into work to do a special report. All you were hired to do is babysit but you insist on doing chores as well. I do appreciate how much of a help it is but I also appreciate how you are training the twins to help out with the chores as well.

The way you called Aoi-kun and Akane-chan to come when I was getting ready to leave really touched my heart. To have my "family" wish me a safe trip was incredible. I know that if the neighbors saw this display they would completely get the wrong idea. At times it seems like a dream that I never want to wake up from.

And then to return at the end of a long day to be welcomed home with the delicious smell of fresh pancakes, was incredible. The pancakes were okay but at your prompting I did make a big deal for the sake of the twins. It brought back memories of making pancakes for myself when I was a kid. On those days when no one was home and my mom had not left any money on the counter to buy dinner, they were quick and easy. I know that cooking with the twins could not be easy but to see the bright smile on your face as you told me how much fun you all had was a surprise to me.

I'm sorry that you burned your hand while cooking with Aoi-kun and Akane-chan. It pains me to see you hurt. Please take care of yourself. I don't know what I would do without you and I don't want to find out. Thank you for the way you take care of the twins for me but always remember that you are so very important to me.

When I came home from work a few days before Valentine's, I did not mean to seem disappointed when you and the twins did not notice me at first because you were playing together. I just felt left out. When I played with the twins they never seemed to laugh and have as much fun as when they are with you. I have to admit it was a very cute picture, the three of you laughing and having fun together. I couldn't help but wonder if this is what Kouichi and Misaki's life would have been like if it weren't for the traffic accident.

It surprised me when you told me that you thought I was becoming a good daddy, despite the potential for scandal in the circumstances. When you said that the person who becomes my wife would be happy, I started to feel very awkward, though I'm not entirely sure why. Have you been aware of my growing love for you? Are you starting to have feelings for me as well? Could it be because I had no role models for how to be a good daddy? My father spent most of his time with this mistress while I was growing up. I may have had glimpses in my brother after the twins were born and before he disappeared. Or maybe it is your gentle training of both me and the twins. I marvel at your maturity and how much you seem to know, despite never knowing your father and only having five years with your mother. You mother must have been an extraordinary woman, if you are any indication.

After running into Oikawa at the shrine on our New Years outing, his comments about my "young wife and children" have haunted my thoughts. When you told me the bath was ready if I wanted to take one and that the twins had already had theirs, my only thought was that when you come of age you will become the best wife in Japan. As I sat relaxing in the bath, my thoughts were all about you. You clean the house, take care of the twins, feed them, have dinner ready for me, bath the twins, and get them to bed just as I imagine Misaki would have done for Kouichi.

Being such a high profile personality on Valentine's Day is very draining. I know the twins did not appreciate that I picked them up early and that you were not coming home with us. You seemed to understand that I just needed to relax. Thank you for helping me get the twins to the taxi. I could see that you were anxious about giving me the chocolates, worried that they were not good enough. There are so many times that I wish I could convince you how amazing you are and how much I appreciate you.

Love, Seiji


	8. White Day

Seiji's Love Letters

Chapter 8 – White Day

Dear Shirharu,

I love you, Shiharu, but sometimes you can be so exasperating. When I put my scarf around your neck after you sneezed on the walk home, I just wanted to show you I cared. I did not want you to fight me about it. I realize that, growing up as an orphan, you have been trying to avoid being selfish, but please allow others to be unselfish as well. It doesn't look good when you do all the giving and it appears I am doing all the taking. Please allow me to show you how much you mean to me.

Today was White Day and it was such a day of mixed emotions. I'm sorry that I arrived home late from work. I had hoped to have a little time to talk and relax before I gave you the present I bought for you. Since it was already late and time for you to leave, I decided to walk you home and then give it to you along the way. Of all those who gave me chocolates on Valentine's Day, you are the only one I wanted to give a reciprocal gift. I have never been very good at choosing gifts but after seeing how much you liked your Christmas present, I had to try. Asking advice from someone at work was out of the question—I could just imagine their scandalized tone of voice.

I happened to run into Oikawa while I was shopping and he gave me some ideas, most of them inappropriate. I just cannot understand how he seemed to understand you so well after that one brief meeting at the shrine after New Year's. It's probably because he is constantly focused on women and easily draws their attention and interest. I have to admit that I have been a little jealous of him at times. He attracts women like flies to honey and, when it comes to women, I feel like a bumbling idiot when he has been around.

Despite the problems during the trip to the shrine, I really enjoyed our outing together. That was what prompted me to plan the trip to the zoo. Before you came, I would never have considered taking the twins on an outing like that.

I had an amazing time at the zoo. Watching you with the twins was captivating. I'm glad I brought along my camera to take pictures. Seeing Akane-chan at the petting zoo patting the guinea pig and saying, "Good girl. Good girl," was just adorable. It's incredible how much impact you have had on the twins in the past nine months.

It's obvious that you were uncomfortable when I asked someone to take a picture of the four of us. I know you feel like you don't belong because you are an orphan. It may also be that people keep commenting on us as a "family." Given my home life when I was younger, I can't help enjoying our time spent as a "family."

Too bad the rain cut short our day and we didn't get to see the lions. On the other hand, I enjoyed the closeness as we shared the umbrella. Then then there's the opportunity to go back to the zoo together again later.

I have to confess that I did not tell you the truth on the day we went to the department store so the twins could see the Cosmic Rangers. I misdirected you with the dilemma of getting the twins out of the bath but that was not the real reason that I could not look you in the eye that day. That morning I have a very vivid dream that you confessed that you were in love with me. I wanted to cling to that hope and didn't want you to see the desire and longing in my eyes. I also didn't want to see rejection or disinterest in your eyes, not that you had any idea what I was thinking or feeling.

Thank you for taking Akane-chan for a walk when she got restless. Aoi-kun was not ready to leave the Cosmic Rangers and I could tell he was getting upset with Akane-chan because of her fidgeting. You headed off a very public confrontation between those two. It was nice of you to help that girl find her parents. I didn't mean to be so curt but after the incident at the shrine, I was anxious when I couldn't find you right away. At least the day ended on a high note.

Usually I don't like rainy days because the twins get bored and whiny. I appreciate that you took them out in the rain, even though you were all soaking wet when you returned. You felt guilty but all I could see was the joy on Akane-chan and Aoi-kun's faces from the fun you had and the things you saw. It was evident that you were nervous about taking a bath at the house but there was no way I would let you stay in those wet, cold clothes.

As I looked through the clothes my mother left at the house, I have to admit that my mind went places that it shouldn't concerning you. You are still sixteen and I am twenty-six now. Even in my mother's old workout clothes, you looked absolutely adorable. I couldn't resist wrapping that warm towel around your shoulders as an excuse to get close to you. I had to resist the urge to pull you in closer and wrap my arms around you. You had no way of knowing it but you left me breathless and I have to reign in my fantasies and desires.

I don't know why you didn't tell my about your second birthday. I was surprised to hear about it from the twins and I had to ask the sensei at the daycare. I wish I would have known sooner but at least I was able to call and wish you "happy second birthday."

Love, Seiji


	9. Home Center Trip

Seiji's Love Letters

Chapter 9 – Home Center Trip

Dear Shiharu,

I really enjoyed our time together for your birthday today. When I asked you what you wanted or where you wanted to go for your birthday, your request for a trip to the Home Center to do household shopping was not what I expected. I wasn't sure if it was an appropriate birthday trip but it seemed to be what you wanted. I just wanted to give you something. I found out about your second birthday so late that I was only able to call and wish you "Happy birthday."

It was great that your birthday was on a day that I was not working so we didn't have to plan around my schedule. This got off to a rough start with the twins running around and getting into everything. In hindsight, we probably should have gone to the Children's section at the end of the trip rather than the beginning. Aoi-kun and Akane-chan were very reluctant to leave that area, even after they chose their toys. Oh well, live and learn.

I really enjoyed the story you told about shopping with your mother. I'm glad you have happy family memories even though you only had five years with your mother and never knew your father. With all the arguing in my family, we never went on outings. Because of you, I have been able to take the twins on outings, something I never got to do as a kid. I used to wish my family was like those on television or in the movies but now I have that kind of family with you and the twins.

Maybe I've been thinking a lot about family because it has been a year since I took custody of Aoi-kun and Akane-chan. A few days ago, I called my mother to ask if she had heard from Kouichi. She had not heard from him and she was too busy with her career to have any interest in the twins.

I think the story you told me about shopping with your mom gave me some insight into why you chose a trip to the Home Center for your birthday present. Rather than what you want, you chose what you perceived as acceptable by the one asking. It's funny how you were able to help Akane-chan choose a toy but I couldn't get you to choose a cup for yourself. To avoid the subject, you asked about my birthday.

I haven't given my birthday much thought in years. You seemed a little upset that it had already passed for this year so I said wait for next year. When you asked me if I had anything I would like, all I could think of was "you." I want you, Shiharu. I want to take you in my arms, kiss you tenderly, and never let you go. However, I could not say something like that to you, so I told you I couldn't think of anything right now.

I wish I could express to you how much your presence is a daily gift to me. The way you take care of the children and the house…and even me. I treasure the time we spend together.

It was too bad the twins wandered off while we were talking about birthdays. I'm glad we found them so easily since you recognized their cries. The way they jumped into your arms for a hug and the way they clung to my legs was probably the reason we were mistaken for their parents again.

I suspect your years in the institute were the reason that you were reluctant to accept the cup I purchased for your birthday. When you finally accepted it, you told me that you took it as a sign that it was okay for you to be here at the house.

I have to admit that, to me, that cup is a symbol that you would continue to be there for us. As long as your cup in in the cupboard, you will be back to use it.

Love, Seiji


	10. Illness

Seiji's Love Letters

Chapter 10 – Illness

Dear Shiharu,

It all started with one little cough while I was filming a segment for the show in studio. Then I fell into the water feature while I was filming on location in the park. It didn't help that colds were going around already so my supervisor insisted that I go to the doctor and then go home. The doctor assured me that it was just a cold and not influenza and he gave me some medicine and told me to rest. It was two days before an important broadcast so I had him give me the strongest medicine that he could.

I called you to let you know I was ill that that you should make arrangements for the twins to stay at the nursery for a few days. I wanted to be sure that you and the twins did not catch my cold.

I was feeling absolutely miserable when I arrived home in the taxi. I was thinking about how I had not been alone at home in over a year, since I took custody of the twins. It had been even longer since I had been this ill. I was surprised to find the door open because I expected you to have left with the twins.

On one hand I was touched that you were worried about me. On the other hand, I didn't want you to get sick so I tried to get you to go home. I was just so exhausted that I collapsed. After that, my memories were very muddled.

I vaguely remember going to my old bedroom, rather than the one I shared with the twins. I told you about the medicine and then you left the room. My thoughts were foggy as I realized how comforting it was to have someone here with me while I was ill.

After that it was flashes of scenes—changing from my clothes, eating rice pudding (I think you had to feed it to me), taking the medicine, asking for my phone from my bag, calling Takeru to come over to help me.

I must have drifted off to sleep for a while because the next thing I remember was you coming in to apologize for telling Takeru and Oikawa to leave. I was relieved that I did not have to deal with Oikawa so I saw no reason for you to apologize. It was comforting to know that you were there to take care of me and keep Oikawa away.

When you told me the twins were asleep and you were going to be leaving, I used what little energy I had to grab the hem of your sweater. I had no other way to express my gratitude for your care and I just wanted you to stay with me a little longer. When you placed your cool hand on my forehead, I couldn't help but relax under your gentle touch. Your presence was such a comfort as I slipped back into sleep.

The next morning you were there again, checking on me. I was afraid that, in the stupor of my cold, I might have said or done something to frighten you away. You only told me about my delirious ramblings about childhood pet hamster, Pot.

It was incredible how much better I felt after just that one night of sleep. There was something special just knowing that you were there and you cared. I just keep falling deeper and deeper in love with you.

Love, Seiji


	11. Jealousy

Seiji-s Love Letters

Chapter 11 – Jealousy

Dear Shirhau,

I'm sorry I was so upsent when I got home from work tonight. I spent all day worrying about what Oikawa might have done to you. It really irritated me when he called while I was at work and left me a voicemail saying that he was borrowing my car to take you and the twins to pick strawberries. He didn't ask permissions, he just told me he was going to do it. I was headed into an important meeting so I didn't even have a chance to call him back to tell him "no." I definitely did not like the idea of him taking you anywhere on his own.

I was worried when I got the call from Oikawa during your trip. He was acting so flirty it was irritating, especially with as busy as I was. When he sent me the selfie with his arm around you, I just wanted to get my hands on him and set him straight. He seems to have a way with women and I have never had a chance when he has been around. Oikawa has always been a romantic and knows exactly what to say to make women fall for him. He was way out of line and I just wanted to protect you.

Thank you for your calm demeanor and gentle nature that diffused my emotional turmoil. It was so nice of you to make jam from the strawberries. It still amazes me how much you know and that you are willing to share those skills with the twins…and me.

I just have to admit it, I've been feeling jealous lately. I think it started on Children's Day. When I came home from work and you showed me the cute photos of Aoi, Akane, and Mana in the carp banners, I could tell you had a lot of fun that day. I was jealous that Takeru had been there to share the fun and enjoy your company. Takeru has a habit of jumping into relationships and I don't want him pursuing you.

Then there was the Spring Festival in Showa Kinen Park that you took the twins to with your friend Rio. I couldn't help feeling unneeded and left outAt least I got to enjoy the festival through your eyes from the pictures you took. When I heard that you ran into Takeru was there at the festival as well, I felt jealous flaring all over again. I know that you are not doing anything wrong or trying to make me jealous. Right now we don't even have a romantic relationship but I am in love with you. I know I have to wait because you are only seventeen and I am twenty-six.

At times I have even been jealous of the freedom that Aoi and Akane have in expressing their affection for you. I became painfully aware of it during the incident with the misunderstanding about what a kiss is. They were so willing to show that they liked you with a kiss. When they wanted me to do the same, you got so flustered and ran off.

I couldn't help but think about Christmas when you came over for our party even though it was already after curfew. I was so drawn to you that night but you were only sixteen so it was a good thing that we were interrupted. You are seventeen now so it would be more socially acceptable even though kissing is not a cultural norm for our society. I have to admit that I was actually looking forward to kissing you and wished I would have had the courage to do it.

Love, Seiji


	12. Studying

Seiji-s Love Letters

Chapter 12 – Studying

Dear Shirhau,

I wish I knew why you have been so nervous around me lately. Is it because of the position we fell into during the study session? It was perfectly innocent. Or did it remind you of something that happened while I was ill. I have only vague memories of that night but I hope that I didn't do anything inappropriate.

I remember that night I came home and startled you because you were concentrating on studying. You had no need to apologize. The twins were already in bed asleep and I have told you repeatedly that you don't need to do the household chores. I thought I made it clear in the beginning, when you offered to come help in the mornings that school should be a priority for you.

I really wanted to help you study. There are so many things that you can do so well on your own. It looked like this was something you finally needed me for. I was excited for the opportunity to help you for a change after all the ways you have helped me.

That evening started out so well as the twins went right to sleep. I welcomed the opportunity to sit close to you and discuss your schoolwork. You really seemed to understand the things I was explaining to you. I should have realized that my watching you so closely would make you nervous. It was not my intention to make you feel uncomfortable.

I should not have reach for your hand. That was obviously the reason that you attempted to stand up and how you hit your knee on the table. When you almost ran into the pillar I instinctively grabbed you so you wouldn't get hurt any further. I forgot that you are so slight and I pulled you right back against my chest. When you moved away abruptly and said you were sorry, I realized that the position again my chest made you very uncomfortable. I wanted to let you know that everything was fine and there was no need to be sorry for the accident.

I wanted to talk to you about it because I didn't want things to be awkward between us. But the doorbell rang and I needed to answer it. It was your friend from the institute coming to walk you home. From the look on your face it was obvious that you were not expecting him.

When you went to collect your things, I tried to talk to Hayami-kun but he was acting rather hostile towards me. He practically accused me of having inappropriate intentions toward you. I got the impression that he was jealous of our time together. I was uneasy with the way he grabbed your wrist and dragged you away. It was all I could do not to step between the two of you, push you behind me, and protect you like I did at the supermarket.

I wish the evening could have ended as pleasantly as it began. I wish we could have talked about the contact between us after the fall. I have sensed a distance between us since that incident. At least it has not affected your interactions with the twins. You care so much about them and they definitely love you.

I know it was out of line for me to ask those questions about Hayami-kun. I wasn't sure if I was acting out of jealousy or if I wanted to protect you from him. I know that you are not "mine." You are not a possession to be fought over. You are a beautiful, caring, and smart young woman with much to offer.

The whole episode made me realize that I have been taking advantage of you and your time. Not in an inappropriate way, but taking more of your time than would be usual for just a babysitter. I enjoy your company so much that I have asked you to be here with the twins not only while I am at work but also on some days when I am at home. Taking care of the twins by myself can be such a chore and I have trouble being patient with them.

The hardest part of taking care of the twins myself is having Oikawa showing up looking for you. Although he is my friend, there are times that I just don't trust him. I am still upset with him about the strawberry trip that he took you and the twins on.. He is much too casual in his flirtations, too cavalier with his relationships, and I just don't want him anywhere near you.

Though I will miss your presence, I will start using my days off to take care of the twins and allow you to take time off to study and do your schoolwork. Hopefully that will allow you to bring you grades up enough to avoid summer detention. I will just have to look forward to the extra time you will have available this summer.

Love, Seiji


	13. Summer Begins

Seiji-s Love Letters

Chapter 13 – Summer Begins

Dear Shirhau,

As I write this, I am sipping the tea that you poured for me tonight. When you poured it, you said that you hoped that the atmosphere would be intoxicating and it most definitely is. That is the very atmosphere that you have created in our home. Am I reading too much into your simple act of pouring tea for me? I don't think the cold beer that I was anticipating would have affected me half as much as this tea. Despite my disappointment about the warm beer because Akane-chan left the refrigerator door open, your gentle ways redeemed the situation.

It has been a little over a year since we met and I can't—or more accurately don't want to—contemplate what my life would be like without you. Last summer we had just met and you were so busy with the twins and getting the house in order. I was so wrapped up at work and we were still strangers. The holidays, especially Christmas, brought us a lot closer to each other. This summer has started off wonderfully.

I am glad that you were able to get your grades up to avoid summer detention. I wish I could have been more help but at least I was able to allow you more days off for your studies.

Tanabata taught me a lesson this year. I know I told you that you can't avoid unwanted things by pushing them away and things don't always turn out the way we want them to. This is an adult perspective on life. However, you showed me another facet. Sometimes you have to wait to see if things will change rather than setting plans in stone. Sometimes you just need a new perspective. I'm glad I suggested that we go to higher ground after the clouds blew away and the rain stopped. You really made Akane-chan's day by pretending to hear a "Thank you" from Orihine and Hikoboshi. I can only hope that someday we have our own love story.

I hope that I can teach you to relax a little. You are still young so you need to have fun occasionally. I think we all really enjoyed the barbeque at the campsite. You kept trying to do everything and I had to keep reminding you that I had invited you to have fun, not to work. It's strange how you are so much more mature the Takeru and he is older than you be several years.

Aoi-kun, Akane-chan, and Mana had fun playing in the stream with you. I think we all really enjoyed the water gun, magnifying glass, butterfly net, and insect cage that you brought along. I didn't mean to startle you when I put my shirt on your shoulders. I notice that the splashing from the stream made your shirt transparent and I wanted to cover you up to prevent embarrassment. Opportunities for me to take care of you don't present themselves very often and I was happy for the chance.

It scared me a little when you fainted at the sight of blood when Takeru cut his finger. Thankfully it wasn't deep and just needed a bandage. At least most of the prep work was already done and all I had to do was the grilling. It was funny seeing Mana, Aoi-kun, and Akane-chan with their mouths open for food like a nest of little birds. I just wish that they would have let you relax and enjoy yourself rather that expecting you to take care of them.

I was glad that you had a fun day at the barbeque. You played so hard that you fell asleep in the car on the way home from the campsite. You looked so adorable with your head leaning against Aoi-kun's carseat.

When you suggested taking the twins to the public pool, I was worried about the boys that hang out there. I still think about the incident at the shrine after New Years when those boys attacked you. There is not way that I want that to ever happen to you again. I wanted to arrange time off and accompany you but you seemed so uncomfortable with that idea. It was only later that I realized you were shy about the idea of me seeing you in a bathing suit. Granted, my heart would probably beat faster at such a sight. At least you were willing to invite Rio along and let me invite Takeru to accompany you. At least the presence of Takeru would dissuade the boys from accosting you.

I look forward to more fun memories this summer and more opportunities to get to know one another better.

Love, Seiji


	14. August

Seiji's Love Letters

Chapter 14 – August

Dear Shiharu,

It is so good to have you back after you sprained your ankle. The twins were frantic about not having you around. It was only a few days but it seemed like forever. That was the reason that we stopped by the institute to check on you. When we knocked on the door, Hayami-san told us you were not there. We were surprised when you came out onto the balcony to talk to us when you heard Aoi-kun and Akane-chan's voices. I was so relieved to see that you were okay but I was also irritated that Hayami-san lied to me. Your bright smile dissipated the irritation over the lie and soothed my anxiety over not seeing you.

Dinner on the porch and fireworks were a fun way to welcome you back. Although I don't like the way Takeru hangs around all the time, I have to admit that you have had a positive influence on him. Before this he never would have admitted that the mess in the backyard was his fault. And then he surprised me again when he apologized for frightening Akane-chan with the fireworks. Thank you for putting her at ease and helping her overcome her fears.

Your frantic behavior really surprised me when Takeru brought out the pictures from the trip to the pool. I tried to lighten the mood with a little humor but that's not exactly my strong suit. I didn't mean to embarrass you when I commented about your cute swimsuit. All I could think about was how adorable you were in the photo. I can't help wondering if I said or did something inappropriate. Please be patient with me as I navigate these feelings that I have for you.

Thank you for allowing the twins and me to accompany you to visit your parents' graves on Obon. I had several reasons for making the request. First of all, I want to be there with you this year. I remember last year you took the day off from the daycare and babysitting. When we found you waiting for us when we came home, I could tell that you needed us to be there for you. Then there is the opportunity for Aoi-kun and Akane-chan to learn about Obon and how to behave. When Aoi-kun and Akane-chan go to live with their grandparents they will be able to visit their mother's grave. For myself, I wanted to pay my respects to your parents' for all that you have done for me during this past year. I also wanted to know where your parents' graves were so I can speak to them before I declare my feelings for you.

I had not anticipated the necessity of comforting you in the presence of your parents but I should have realized after last year that you would be feeling loss more than usual this year. In the past it was the loss of your parents but this year that is coupled with the impending loss of the twins as they move to their grandparents' home in Shizouka. I know the news that the parents of the twins' mother would be taking custody of them really affected you, despite how you try to hide it. You care so deeply for Aoi and Akane that is it no surprise their eventual move to Shizouka will grieve you deeply. This move is the best situation for the twins and I know you understand that. However, I also know you are attached to them and it hurts you to know that things will change dramatically soon. I feel responsible because it is basically my decision about the twins that is the causing part of your pain. Please let me be there for you through all the changes that are coming.

Speaking of changes coming, I can't believe that Takeru came to me asking for advice about love. I guess it should have come as no surprise after all the happened with Rio. I told him that there were a lot of signs of being in love with a girl, like wanting to be with her as much as possible, doing things to make her smile, and thinking how everything she does is "right." Through the whole conversation, all I could think about was you. How I ached to show you how much I love you. The depth of my feelings caught me off guard. I was relieved when Aoi-kun interrupted us and Takeru left. I can only wonder when Aoi and Akane are going to be asking these same questions about love.

Summer is quickly drawing to a close and school will be starting for you soon. I hope we can have more fun and outings before time becomes short.

Love, Seiji


	15. Back to School

Seiji's Love Letters

Chapter 15 – Back to School

Dear Shiharu,

The twins and I had a wonderful time at your school festival today. When I was in high school, they always made me the head organizer so I didn't have time to enjoy it. I guess growing up with absent parents gave me an air of responsibility because I had to rely on myself most of the time. Thanks to your friend Rio's disguise at least we didn't have to deal with the pushy fans like we did at the shrine for New Year's.

It certainly looks like your school is a lot of fun. I sensed that you were glad to have someone there for you at a school function. I imagine that this is a first for you since you grew up in the institute. I'm glad that I had the day off and we were able to enjoy the festival together.

Thank you for the personal tour you gave us while you were on your break. It was so much easier with the twins to have you there. It was funny how they didn't recognize you in your costume even though you told them that you would be dressed as little red riding hood. You definitely looked very cute in your costume, I just wish I hadn't overheard so may boys also talking about how cute you were.

I'm so relieved that I was there to save you from those two obnoxious men who were trying to assault you in the back garden. It brought back unpleasant memories of the boys who grabbed you at the shrine. At least my disguise gave me the opportunity to lead them away from you and then remove my disguise to throw them off my trail.

Thank you for making lunch for me after the festival since the disguise made it difficult for me to eat with the twins at the festival. That reminds me of our outing to the aquarium and the cute bento lunch you prepared for us that day.

I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable when I came home that evening before my summer vacation. The red mark on your forehead caught my attention and I just wanted to take a closer look. I shouldn't have grabbed you like that. You have become such an integral part of our family that sometimes I forget that I have no right to touch you like that. Seeing you injured, I wanted to pull you into my arms to comfort and protect you. Your gentle spirit and beauty just overwhelm me at times. I can't express how much you have added to our lives by your presence. Hopefully we have added to your life as well.

When I suggested the trip to the aquarium, I could tell that you were still a little uncomfortable with me after the incident with the mark on your forehead. Thank you for allowing that unease to pass so that we could have a fun trip together. Aoi and Akane were fascinated with everything they saw. I'm sorry for the bad joke about the tuna looking delicious. As I said before humor is not my strong suit.

I was sincere when I thanked you for granting us the luxury of homemade food like the bento you packed that day. It may not seem like a luxury to you since you eat homemade food at the institute all the time. I grew up with buying and eating already prepared food because my mother was always working and she just left money for my brother and me to get dinner. The way you consider what we might like to eat and then prepare it for us is most definitely something that I never knew as a kid. I want Aoi and Akane to experience as long as possible.

The twins really enjoyed the dolphin show, even though we got soaked at the end, but then we expected that since we were sitting right in the front row. I couldn't help but worry that I was being too forward when I draped the towel over your head to dry your hair. You had such a look of confusion on your face.

The only thing to mar the day was the fan that recognized me and dragged me away to take pictures. When I returned you looked so subdued that I just wanted to get home to just spend some quiet time with you and the twins.

I look forward to seeing what this school year brings.

Love, Seiji

Shiharu laid the letter aside, smiled gently, and shook her head. These letters were such an incredible glimpse into Seiji's perception of their meeting and early years "together." She was thankful that he had given them to her.

Right now she needed a short break to stretch, use the bathroom, and get a glass of water. Maybe she should check to see if Seiji would like to take a break as well. There was no hurry to get the house ready. There were still several months before the twins were due.


	16. Hokkaido Trip

Seiji's Love Letters

Chapter 16 –Hokkaido Trip

After Seiji and Shiharu had a quiet lunch at a nearby restaurant, they returned to the house to continue their tasks. For now, Shiharu refrained from discussing what she had been reading. She was still processing the emotions and memories that the letters were bringing up. The insight into her husband's thoughts and feelings during those early days was a lot to take in all at once. One thing she did know for certain was that seeing this side of Seiji made her love him all the more.

Seiji settled Shiharu in the kitchen once again before he continued his inspection of the house. As he left, she picked up the next letter and began to read.

Dear Shiharu,

I am so glad that you have returned safely from your school trip to Hokkaido. It was just so wonderful to return from work this evening to have you there to welcome me home. The notes that you left about the twins' routines and habits were an immense help with the twins but there is nothing like having you here with us. I'm sorry that you had to come home to find Akane ill. I don't know how you do it, getting the twins bathed and their hair dried before they fall asleep. Akane ran off and then feel asleep before I could get her hair dried. That, coupled with her very active sleep habits, caused her to catch a cold. At least it didn't last very long and she was back to normal. Thank you for the souvenirs. Aoi and Akane love the socks and I appreciate the handkerchief.

When you were making tea for me, I did not intend to make you nervous when I was watching you so closely. I missed the tea that you make for me. While you were gone, I had coffee at work and all I could think about was how I would rather be having the tea that you make. Maybe the special place in my heart for your tea is connected to that incident during the summer when you poured iced tea for me after Akane left the refrigerator door open. Or maybe it's the thought that you care enough to make it for me. Either way, you were definitely in my thoughts at work, particularly when one female co-worker was being rather forward and making me feel uncomfortable. There is just something about your presence that makes me feel so comfortable. You accept me for who I am and not just the public persona for my job.

Even though we missed you terribly during the three days you were gone, there were some good things that came out of the trip and I'm glad I didn't allow you to skip it just because the twins would miss you. It's nice that you now have a cell phone. I know there have been times, especially on our outings, that it would have saved a lot of worry to be able to contact you when we were separated, like at the shrine and at the mall. The twins really appreciated the call during your trip and I have to admit that I enjoyed hearing the sound of your voice.

The memo that you left for me emphasized just how much you do and how well you do it. There were times that I would have been lost without those notes. I really appreciate all that you do and how well you take care of us. You are an important member of our family. I can only imagine that these three days would have been like the first three months all over again and I never want to do that again.

I apologize that I did not tell you about the arrangements I made with Takeru's mother to have her let the neighbors think that that we were cousins. When Takeru reacted the way he did when he first met you, I knew I had to ensure that there would not be other such misunderstandings. In a way it's funny that it took over a year before you gave the appearance of our relationship any thought. I guess the comment at the Home Center about the "young family" and the fans at the aquarium that speculated about my "secret girlfriend" were what brought the situation to your attention. I meant it when I said that you have beautiful hair. You are so lovely that no one could possibly mistake you for a boy.

Even though it was only three days, it felt so much longer. Peace has returned to the house because Aoi and Akane are so happy you are back. I look forward to our time together.

Love, Seiji


	17. The Twins' Birthday

Seiji's Love Letters

Chapter 17 –The Twins' Birthday

Dear Shiharu,

It still amazes me how creative and talented you are. I was sure that the cake was a total loss after the incident with the elderly woman that made me drop it. You performed magic, making it look almost as good as it did before the fall damaged it. When I told you that there had been an accident, it surprised me a little that you were more worried about me than about the cake. I'm not used to having someone worry about me and I admit that I like it when you show that you care about me.

I know I should have been more willing to let you take care of things, like the cake. You would have done a wonderful job and the cake would not have met with such an accident. With all that you do for us, I didn't want to take advantage of your generous spirit.

Squeezing the twins' birthday celebration in on the day of their birthday wasn't easy. I wish work wasn't so hectic that I had to come home and then got back to finish taping segments for work. There just don't seem to be enough hours in the day to fulfill all my obligations and still have time for the important things in life, like Aoi, Akane, and you.

Although it was rushed, I'm glad we did it. It was a wonderful dinner that you prepared with Aoi and Akane's "help." I know it must have taken longer with their "help," but I appreciate the care you have taken to prepare food for us and even teach the twins basic food preparation skills as well. I know Akane was so proud of the nori rolls that she made.

I know that last year there was no party or celebration for the twins' birthday. The tragedy of their mother's death and their father's disappearance was still too raw. I am so thankful that you were with us during those months. We were still getting to know one another and discovering our family dynamic so it was not a big deal. There was also the thought in the back of my mind that my brother would never return and I would be raising the twins myself. I figured that there would be plenty of other birthdays to celebrate with them. It never occurred to me that their grandparents would want to take responsibility for these, given my own parents' attitude.

When their grandparents' made known their plans for the twins to move in with them, I knew that we had to have a party this year and on the day of their birthday. This will probably be the one and only birthday of theirs that I know I will be there for. Who knows what the future will hold for me?

The albums that you made for Akane and Aoi were just wonderful. All those memories of our outings together and the fun times that we've had. I really appreciate the time, effort, and creativity that you put into those gifts. Hopefully those books will help the twins remember these times fondly when they go to live with their grandparents. I saw the wistful look in your eye as you watched them. They are growing up so fast and they will be moving in the near future.

Thank you for being home to receive the package that came from the twins' grandparents with the birthday presents. It was so nice of the Takegawas to send the puzzles and outfits. We should dress the twins in those outfits for the trip to Shizouka on Saturday.

I am so glad you are coming with us on Saturday. It will be so much easier to travel with the twins when I have your help. The twins should also be more at ease in a strange place with you there. Hopefully this will be the start of a smooth transition for the twins when they move from here to Shizouka to live with their grandparents.

Today has made me realize that no matter what we face, as long as you are here with us, the twins will keep smiling happily. I wish I could express just how much your presence means to us-how much you mean to me.

Love, Seiji


	18. Trip to Shizouka

Seiji's Love Letters

Chapter 18 –Trip to Shizouka

Dear Shiharu,

The trip to visit the twins' grandparents wore me out. There is no way that I would have survived it without you. Your presence on the trip was appreciated so much. The train ride would probably have been chaos without your help keeping an eye on the twins. The expression on your face told me that you wondered if it was proper for you to be there but I know that I really needed you and there you were.

I saw how emotional you got while talking to the twins' grandmother today. I can only guess that you were thinking about the short time we have left with the twins. What will I do when Aoi and Akane have moved to the Takagawas' house? I know life will be easier without the added responsibility but it will also be so much emptier without the twins—and you.

The twins' grandparents told me that they wanted you to come on this visit with the twins. Not only did they want the twins to be comfortable but they also wanted to meet the woman who was caring for their grandchildren. Their grandmother was very impressed by you because I overheard her tell you how much you reminded her of her daughter Misaki, the twins' mother.

I apologize for the twins' grandfather's implication that our relationship was improper in any way, even though their grandmother made it clear that her husband was kidding. When he insinuated that you were taking care of my "personal" needs, I had to make sure that they both understood that nothing like that was happening between us. I will admit that I have entertained such thoughts about you. However, I know that it can only happen after we are both adults and then only if you want to pursue that type of relationship.

The lost puppy certainly added a bit to drama to the day. You have a very protective nature when it comes to young ones, human or animal. I'm glad that the owner was nearby and the puppy was safely back home quickly. Akane's tantrum was a little stressful but I admire the way you handled it. Instead of trying to distract her from it, you showed her a way to confront and release it. I think the twins' grandmother was impressed with the idea and will use it in the future to deal with tantrums.

This trip made the departure of the twins a solid future event. There is no longer a vague "if it happens," but a definite "when it happens." At least my mind is at ease that the twins like their grandparents and the grandparents are excited to care for the twins. Though the actual date of the move has not been set yet, I do feel the inevitable transition coming. I don't know if I am truly ready for it but it is coming nonetheless.

I confess that I worry about how you will handle the changes ahead. I hope you will let me be there for you and support you through it all.

Love, Seiji


	19. Confusion

Seiji's Love Letters

Chapter 19 –Confusion

Dear Shiharu,

When you ran out of the house, I wish that I would have followed you and brought you back so we could finish talking through things but Aoi woke up and needed to use the bathroom. By the time I put him back to bed you probably already made it to the institute. The phone call to the institute tonight eased my mind that you arrived home safely but I didn't dare talk to you because I would beg you to tell me what's wrong. I am still worried about what happened tonight and what led up to it but I also know that you do not like to be pushed for answers, as evidenced by the shove the other day.

Why did you shove me that night I picked up Aoi and Akane from daycare? I did not mean to make you feel uncomfortable but you wouldn't look me in the eye. I realize now that I should have respected your personal space rather than pushing you for answers. You have always been so gentle that I was caught completely off-guard by your actions. At least I was able to make up a plausible story to keep you from getting in trouble with your sensei at the daycare center.

You tried to tell me something the other night when you cooked the sweet potatoes but we were interrupted. I was so afraid that taking care of us was getting to be too much for you and you were planning to give me your resignation. The next day when you told me you needed to talk to me and then knelt on the floor, I was so sure that you were going to resign. I wanted so much to stop you because I don't know what we would do without you. When you told me about breaking the cup that I got you for your birthday, I was so relieved that you were not going to quit. I did not mean to trivialize your remorse for breaking the cup by saying, "Is that all?"

The other night I had dinner with Oikawa between shooting segments for work. Please realize that things were really desperate on my part since I willingly went to Oikawa for advice. I even admitted to him that I think you are cute. He insinuated that the problem stems from my making inappropriate advances toward you and you being disgusted at my behavior. I don't think I have made inappropriate advances, but there are a few incidents that come to mind that you may have seen in a different light.

First, there was that almost kiss on Christmas. Nothing happened because of the interruption from the twins but I was leaning in to kiss you. The fact that you snuck out of the institute to be with us for Christmas was so daring that it drew me to you.

Then there was the incident when your grades were suffering at school and I was trying to help you study. I don't even remember what caused your fall but I can't forget how I felt with your back pressed to my chest. Once again there was an interruption, but this time it was your friend from the institute who came to walk you home.

Next was the trip to visit your parents' grave on Obon. You looked so sad and forlorn that I wanted to pull you into my arms and hold you but we were in a public place and I could only place my hand on your hair to lend you comfort from my presence.

Finally, there was the day I came home from work and immediately grabbed your face because I wanted a closer look at the red mark on your forehead. I wasn't thinking about how intimate a gesture that could be considered.

I'm glad I made it to the twins' recital in time to see it all. I felt just as proud as if they were my children rather than my niece and nephew. At least we were able to talk afterward and exchange apologies. Despite that, I still feel that there is a chasm between us that I just don't know how to bridge.

I am so confused right now. Have I done something to hurt or offend you? Why won't you look me in the eye? Is it something recent? Or has this been building over time? How can I fix this? Is it possible for me to fix this? Do you want me to? I don't want to lose you. This distance between us is starting to affect me and I just don't know what to do.

Or maybe I'm just too focused on myself? Could it be that you are overwhelmed by that changes on the horizon in your own future? There is no date for the twins' more to their grandparents, but steps are already being taken to accommodate that transition. Then there is the fact that you will be turning eighteen soon and that will end your time at the institute. Where will you go from there? Have you been looking into your university options?

I remember that when you took the job as babysitter you were saving money to pay for schooling because your goal is to open your own daycare center. Has something happened that is making it more difficult for you to reach your goal? Is there anything I can do to help?

My heart aches with the thought of losing you because of something I have done—or not done. I feel like I am drowning in the uncertainty and confusion. Please help me!

Love, Seiji


	20. Clarity

Seiji's Love Letters

Chapter 20 –Clarity

Dear Shiharu,

I wanted so much for you to stay a little longer tonight to continue enjoying our new understanding. I almost asked you to stay but I knew it would not be a good idea with curfew so close and no real reason that we could give the head of the institute for you staying late. After all that has happened, my feelings are just too close to the surface and I don't know if I would be able to control myself.

Thank you for letting me in, emotionally. At least we were able talk and you were able to tell me all that you have been feeling and thinking over the past few weeks. It feels so good to have clarity after all of the confusion. Strange how the new tea cup was the catalyst to get you to open up about what you have been thinking and feeling.

I was feeling rather discouraged when I arrived home this evening. Even the twins were acting a little strange when they popped their heads out to welcomed me home and then promptly disappeared again. The tension of the last few weeks was weighing heavily on me and I just wanted things to go back to the way they were between us. I have missed the feeling of family that the four of us had.

As I tried to talk to you about the tension, you interrupted and told me about the pictures of the twins' recital, including that there were two sets. You got so quiet when I mentioned that I was sending one set to the twins' grandparents. All I could think to do was give you the new cup that I bought for you to replace the one that broke. When you didn't say anything, I was worried that you didn't like it or didn't want it.

When you finally started to open up, it all came spilling out, just like tea from a broken cup. First you told me how terrible you thought I was because of my reaction to your revelation about the broken tea cup. I was so focused on the fact that you were not going to resign as babysitter that I didn't realize the meaning that you attached to that cup. It was special to you because I gave it to you and because it was kept here at the house for your use. To you, that meant you belonged here at the house as well. I hope the new cup that I bought for you gives you the same sense of belonging that the first one did.

When you told me that you were crumbling on the inside about the second set of pictures from the twins' recital going to their grandparents, it hurt me. I don't want you to ever hide your true feelings behind a fake smile. Seeing true emotions, no matter whether they are sad, angry, scared, or happy, is so much better than all the fake smiles in the world.

When you finally told me about your fantasy that the grandparents wouldn't be able to take the twins after all, I understood how much you really love the twins. You want the best for them but you also want to be that best for them. I can tell that you always want to be there for the twins.

I understand how you must feel like your world is falling apart again. First, you lost your father before you were even born. Then five years later you last your mother and, in a way, you also lost your whole family as none of them wanted you.

At the institute you started to build a new family, first with the other kids and then with the twins and me when you started babysitting.

Now it must feel to you that all that you have built is falling apart. With the twins moving to their grandparents, you won't be babysitting anymore so there will be now reason for us to see each other. Soon you will be turning eighteen and will have to move out of the institute.

From some of the things you told me tonight, it even seems like your dreams are unattainable. When we first met, you told me about your plans to attend University to get your degree so you could open your own child care center. Tonight you told me of your visit to the old neighborhood and how things have changed. Your dream to live in your old apartment and attend University near there will never happen because the apartment complex doesn't exist anymore. I guess you must feel like you've lost your mother all over again.

I am so sorry for all of the emotion turmoil I have caused for you recently. I relish the moments that I got to hold you in my arms and explain how sorry I was for causing you anguish. I hope you will share these emotional upsets with me so I can be with you through them. I don't want you to feel alone in all of this.

When you started to cry, I realized that I was holding you without your permission and I felt so guilty. But then you tugged on my shirt to get my attention and you apologized to me for your selfishness. You thought you were selfish and irresponsible to feel the way you did but I saw your feelings as the complete opposite. You really care selflessly about the twins and you are prepared to be responsible for them to the extent that you can.

The look on your face was so beautiful when you realized that your emotions and lack of strict control of your feelings was okay. I don't know if there is any way that I can express just how much you mean to me and the twins. On the night of the twins' birthday, after you salvaged the cake, I realized that you were the only one who could possibly keep the twins happy right now. Despite all your insecurities, there is no one for Aoi, Akane, and me, Nakamura-san. It has to be you.

When you tugged on my shirt and then wrapped your arms around my waist, I gladly wrapped my arms around your shoulders. I don't know if I can express good it felt to hold you close. Even having you dry your tears on my shirt was so comforting to me. I wish I could have basked a little longer in the glow of the closeness and clarity garnered from our time together this evening. However, it was not to be as the twins' video ended and they came looking for us. At least I was able to enjoy the time we had and the path ahead of us looks a lot brighter with all the confusion out of the way.

Love, Seiji

Shiharu blushed lightly, remember that night and their embrace. She also remembered her realization following the interruption by the twins. That was the moment that she admitted to herself that she was in love with Seiji.

The next day at school had been a disaster. She couldn't concentrate because she was fixated on the feeling of Seiji's arms around her and the warmth of their embrace. Even now she blushed at the thought of walking into walls, not paying attention in class, and even the bloody nose in gym from her inattention.

She also remembered the embarrassment and relief when she told Rio about her realization. Rio was, and still is, such a good friend. Shiharu remembered how Rio planned the fall leaf viewing outing with Takeru, Mana, the twins, and them to distract Shiharu from panicking over her reaction to Seiji.

That outing led to an awkward encounter with Seiji, when she childishly offered him a handful of acorns as his share of fall. That was so embarrassing and she could barely control her actions as she felt a jolt of emotion when their hands touched.

Shiharu took a deep breath and picked up the next letter, wondering which memory lane this one would take her down.


	21. Shichi-go-san

Seiji's Love Letters

Chapter 21 –Shichi-go-san

Dear Shiharu,

Today was tiring but I had a wonderful time with you and the twins. Aoi and Akane were absolutely exhausted when we got home so they went straight to bed. I am enjoying the peace and quiet as I reflect on today.

I have felt so much closer to you since we cleared up all the confusion and you have been more open with me about your feelings and emotions. Thoughts of those moments holding you in my arms while your arms were wrapped around me has helped me through some rough days at work. I wish it were a common occurrence but I will just have to be patient.

While I was making all the arrangements for today, I realized that the twins have been my responsibility for more than half of their lives. They were only eighteen months old when their world came crashing down. Their mother died, their father disappeared, their grandmother was seriously injured in the accident that killed their mother, and their grandfather was left to pick up the pieces. I was a complete stranger to them because I had only seen them once, just after they were born. I am so thankful that you have been with us through most of those eighteen months. In many ways you have been my anchor. I felt so adrift before I met you and I can't imagine where I would be today if you hadn't been there for me.

My family was never very close. I don't think my mother and father even consider themselves to be grandparents. I was practically on my own before I was even a teenager. My mother was always working, my father was with his mistress, and my brother was with his friends. In some ways, I was almost as much an orphan as you were. At least you had the institute and the other kids that you could create your own semblance of family. I just had the house and whatever money my mother left for my brother and I to take care of ourselves.

Today felt so much like being a real family. I have to admit that I fantasized throughout the day that you and I were the parents of the twins, participating in this meaningful tradition of celebrating life. You made me so happy when you agreed to accompany us. It wasn't just the fact that I couldn't have handled the twins alone, it was the gentle affection that you offer us so freely.

It amazed me that, despite all of the strangers who were getting the twins dressed and prepared, Aoi and Akane never cried or threw a tantrum. They have come such a long was in just the last year and I know that is has so much to do with you. I couldn't help chuckling to myself as you made funny faces to get them to smile for the photographer. All of the photos were so wonderful that is was hard to choose just a few.

I am sorry that I still get impatient with Akane and Aoi. Even after all these months, I still need your gentle reminders that they are young and they have much to learn. Thank you for remembering how much the zouri hurt their feet and helping them change their shoes. Although that did result in their running around more.

Why do you still balk at being in pictures with us? I guess it bothered me more than usual today because I was fantasizing about us as a real family. In many ways you are the glue that holds us together. I know I would fall apart if it wasn't for you. You have to admit that the photo of the four of us was absolutely adorable.

When your hair was caught in the fastener on the back of your dress, it distressed me to see you hurting. I really did not want to cut your beautiful hair so I worked as gently as I could to release the tangle. Being so close to you, feeling the warmth radiating from you, and smelling your intoxicating scent were really hard on my self-control. I'm glad that I was able to untangle your hair without hurting you further or resorting to cutting your hair.

Thankfully the visit to the shrine went smoothly. The twins were so well behaved despite the crowds and all the other children there. Aoi and Akane certainly like the little gifts that they received.

I'm glad I reserved the private dining room for us. It was nice to just relax and not worry about the twins running off. Thank you for remembering to have the twins change out of their costumes before lunch. It was also nice that you didn't have to cook so you could sit and enjoy the meal with us.

When we dropped you off at the end of the day, I started to tell you that you looked cute. However, I realized that cute did not truly describe how you looked today. I settled on telling you that the dress suited you but what I really wanted to tell you just how beautiful you are.

There is just something about you that makes me feel so comfortable. I don't have to pretend to be perfect like while I am at work. You have seen me at my worst (on more than one occasion) and you are still there for me. Thank you for being there for me—and Akane and Aoi- today.

Love, Seiji


	22. Making Plans

Seiji's Love Letters

Chapter 22 –Making Plans

Dear Shiharu,

It is so hard for me to write tonight. On the one hand, I enjoyed our time together tonight playing with the twins and talking about your visit with the kaki granny on your way home from the supermarket. On the other hand, the timeline has been set for the twins go to live with their grandparents.

In just four short months Aoi and Akane will be leaving to live with the Takegawas in Shizouka. I knew it was coming in the future but now there is an actual date associated with that future. What was once "some day" is now a fixed point that will now be rapidly approaching.

By the time the twins move to Shizouka, I will have been responsible for Aoi and Akane for nearly two years at that point. Will I be able to handle the change? How will I be able to let them go? Akane and Aoi have enriched my life so much in so many ways. I would never have met you if it weren't for them.

This past year and a half has been the most wonderful time for me. Even through the hard times and the confusion, I will always cherish the memories. You have been a big part of those memories too.

I cannot thank you enough for the home and family that we built together. It has been like the family times on the TV shows that I used to envy as a kid. Thank you for the homemade family meals, the welcoming home atmosphere, and the gentle caring. We—the twins and I—would not have survived without you. There were so many ways that my life felt empty before. In some ways I still felt like that neglected little boy that no one wanted. You have soothed and nurtured that little boy in me and it has helped me grow into a much better man.

In some ways, the past year and a half has seemed like a dream. It may have started with a nightmare but then you entered the picture. You gently chased away the gloom and applied the love and patience needed to soften the harsh reality and paint the hope of a bright future.

I know that this move is the best thing for the twins. And it will be best to get them there and settled before they start school. But for all that, I will miss them so much. It will be so hard to let them go. I know I have to but it still hurts.

I hope that we can spend the next four months making more memories as a family. I want the twins to remember their childhood fondly, with the tragedy of their mother's death and their father's disappearance to be a dim memory and not an overwhelming burden. It will probably be hard on you because you care so deeply for the twins. Please remember that you can lean on me and I will be here to listen and share your feelings.

I look forward to that little tug on my shirt that tells me you need me.

Love, Seiji


	23. The Past

Seiji's Love Letters

Chapter 23 –The Past

Dear Shiharu,

Aoi recently found my old cell phone that was left in the end table in the living room. He heard it receive a text message and brought it to me. I was surprised to see that the message was from my old girlfriend, Ayumi. We broke up after I took responsibility for the twins.

I met her during the summer of my third year of University while I was out with a group of my friends. She seemed childish but sweet. We talked about things we had in common and I was distracted and drank way more than I should have. Not my finest moments because, for the first time and only time, I was literally falling down drunk. When my friends abandoned me in a bad part of town, Ayumi stayed with me. Then she took me home with her. Nothing happened but I was so embarrassed by my behavior. She proved that there was nothing childish about her. She was smart and kind and more mature than me.

We dated for a while and were getting close. I even gave some thought to marriage after my brother married Misaki, but I was busy establishing my career. After the twins were born, I thought about it again but it just didn't seem to be the right time. Then that terrible phone call came from my brother at the hospital and my whole life changed.

What should have been a few hours taking care of my niece and nephew turned into days, then weeks, then months. I just couldn't make Ayumi the priority she wanted to be as my girlfriend. When we finally met up again it was for her to tell me that she liked someone else. There were things that I should have told her that day but I didn't. I should have thanked her for the memories we made together over those two years. I should have apologized for not considering her in the decisions I was making. I felt that I didn't have the right to say anything to her because I had neglected her in favor of Aoi and Akane.

Please let me be clear, I did not go to meet Ayumi to resume my relationship with her. To tell you the truth, you have been so much on my mind and in my heart that I never thought about her until the text message came. I just wanted to properly close the relationship we had because the last time I saw her, she ran out of the restaurant, angry with me because I would not do anything to keep her affections. I guess even then I realized that I was not in love with her.

It turns out that her current boyfriend wanted to propose but he wanted to be sure that the break between us was clean and I would not show up later to pursue her and she wouldn't be thinking, "what if…" after they were married. We parted amicably, both ready to move forward with our lives.

That meeting with Ayumi just emphasized to me just how much I love you. I feel a connection with you that I never experienced with her. There are similarities between the two of you. You are both strong, innocent, mature beyond your years, and beautiful. But you have so much more of what I feel I need in my life. Even when you don't want me to see your deep emotions, they are still there calling to my heart. I wish you felt freer to be yourself around me but I know that your life experience has taught you to show only a proper, demure face to the world.

With Ayumi, I thought about marriage but never really considered it seriously. With you, I feel almost like I already have the family that I have always dreamed of, I just need to wait until you come of age to make that dream come true. With her, I hesitated because it didn't seem that pressing. With you, all I can think is, "hopefully someday soon."

I know that you think about all the beautiful women that I work with and how I must be drawn to them. To tell you the truth, none of them interest me in the slightest. I remember when you were on your school trip in Hokkaido, one of those women made an advance. All I could think about was how much I looked forward you coming home and once again preparing a cup of tea for me.

I look forward to the possibility that we can spend the rest of our lives together. For right now, all I can do is enjoy the time that we have together and the time we can spend with the twins. I dream of a life with you and I hope that, when the time comes that I can ask for your hand, that you will feel the same way and say "yes." Just know for right now that I love you and plan to cherish you the rest of my life.

Love, Seiji


	24. Christmas Again

Seiji's Love Letters

Chapter 24 –Christmas Again

Dear Shiharu,

It's Christmas Day and the twins are takin a nap right now. Since we had our celebration on Christmas Eve-eve, as you called it, they have had three days of celebration and they were exhausted. I'm glad for the quiet time I have to reflect. I'm sorry that we couldn't celebrate together on Christmas Day because I had to work. At least we had plenty of time to enjoy the day with the twins and each other on Christmas Eve-eve.

This Christmas is so different from last year. This year was a relaxed evening playing with the twins, exchanging gifts, and eating cake. Last year you snuck out after curfew and we had a rushed celebration before I had to take you home and apologize to the head of the institute. As exciting as the stolen moments were last year, I much prefer the relaxed atmosphere of this year.

Thank you for the little drawstring bags you made for the twins. They love filling them with their toys and trinkets. The twins had a lot of fun making their presents for you. They had a little trouble sharing the supplies but I remembered the way you handled those clashes and I used the same methods to great success.

I'm glad you like the mittens. I didn't realize when I bought them that they matched the scarf I gave you last year. No wonder it felt so right when I saw them in the store.

I have to apologize that I didn't give you the opportunity to give me the gift you got for me. The tie you picked was perfect and I love the color. When you gave it to me on the walk home, I was glad that it was just you and me in that moment.

The day we started planning the Christmas celebration is a fond memory for me. I had just finished my shower and was greeted by the sound of your laughter. What made it even better was that, when I came out of my room, the twins were busily helping you with the chores. I cannot express how much I appreciate our happy household, however unconventional it may be.

I was surprised when I found the kotatsu while I was looking for the Christmas tree. Because my family never used it when I was growing up, I didn't even know we had one. I guess that makes sense since we never really did much together as a family. It was a lot of fun to sit together under it and be warm and cozy.

You shouldn't have felt embarrassed about falling asleep under it while you were reading to Aoi and Akane, especially since they fell asleep, too. I know how tiring those two can be. You looked so peaceful sleeping there and you were obviously having a good dream because you laughed and said something about Akane in your sleep. I didn't mean to startle you when you woke up.

I appreciate all of your hard work and your gentle care. The twins and I have all thrived because of you. The next three months will be surely be full of joy and tears as we prepare the twins for their move to Shizouka to live with their grandparents. I hope it is a gentle transition that Aoi and Akane will remember fondly.

Love, Seiji


	25. New Year's Again

Seiji's Love Letters

Chapter 25 –New Year's Again

Dear Shiharu,

I could tell you were tired when we had the taxi drop you off at the institute tonight. It was probably a good things that the twins had already fallen asleep or they may not have let you go. It was a long day but I really enjoyed our day in Shizouka with the Takegawas. It was so much fun to have a relaxing day letting the twins spend time with their grandparents. This New Year's was so much better than last year when we went to the shrine. It was so much easier to relax when I didn't have to worry about crazy fans, getting separated from you, or saving you from those boys who were trying to assault you.

The Takegawas really enjoyed having you come with us again. I know that it makes you nervous because you feel like an outsider. In a way, I am an outsider, too. We are not really related in any way, except indirectly through my brother. Despite that, they have welcomed me like a son and trusted me with their daughter's children.

Thank you for remembering to bring Aoi and Akane in to their mother's shrine to greet her. I should have remembered to do that as soon as we arrived. It was a little hard for me, seeing the pictures of my brother and having the resentment I feel toward him well up so unexpectedly. The twins' grandfather was right to reprimand me for neglecting to show Aoi and Akane pictures of their father. Deep down, I knew that it was not my place to withhold pictures of my brother from his children. I appreciate that the Takegawas were so gentle with their scolding. I hope you do not think any less of me for that.

From the look on your face during that discussion, I figured you must have been thinking about your own father who died before you were born. Your mother probably had a shrine like Misaki's for him and told you stories about him. I guess you probably don't have a shrine for your parents at the institute. That's probably why you take the whole day on Obon to spend it at the graves of your parents. I'm sure you must miss them a lot.

I guess the twins' grandfather was trying to lighten the mood when he started teasing me again about my making progress with you. I hope it didn't embarrass you too much. At least is dispelled the tension from the scolding before we sat down to lunch. It was a much better atmosphere to relax and enjoy companionship over the meal.

Thank you for taking Akane and Aoi into the other room to play fukuwarai while I talked to the Takegawas. We were talking about the coming spring and the best way to move the twins to Shizouka. I know that they probably won't understand the situation and it will feel a little like they are being separated from their loved ones again. I assured the twins' grandparents that, when the time was rights, I would explain things to Aoi and Akane. In a way, this is all my fault because I insisted on remaining in the house with the twins while waiting for my brother to return. If I had not done that, the twins would have already been settled with family in Shizouka. On the other hand, they would have been separated because one family would not have been able to take both and their grandfather could not take them while their grandmother was in the hospital. I just hope it all turns out for the best.

I was really surprised when the twins were given their bicycles. The first one I had was a hand-me-down from my brother when I was ten. It's good to know that the twins will be so loved and cared for by their grandparents. I have to admit that I envy Aoi and Akane at times. I never knew my grandparents and my parents didn't seem to care about me at all. I'm just glad you and I have been part of providing them with a loving family.

From the peaceful look on your face when you returned from the walk with the twins' grandmother, I take it that she was able to set your mind at ease about you being welcome to visit after the twins move. I hope you will continue to be a part of their lives even after you are no longer their babysitter. You have been such a pillar of strength for them. You have taught them so much and given them so much love.

I look forward to the bright future that this new year will bring to us.

Love, Seiji


	26. Valentine's Day Again

Seiji's Love Letters

Chapter 26 – Valentine's Day Again

Dear Shiharu,

Thank you for the wonderful Valentine's Day at Touto Land today with the twins, Takeru, and Rio. I knew that Takeru had a girlfriend because he came to me for advice a few months ago but I had no idea that it was your friend, Rio. They do make a very cute couple and it appears that Rio has been very good for Takeru. He has been acting a little more mature lately. Though I wonder given that stunt he and Rio pulled, leaving us alone in the cable car of the giant ferris wheel.

I wasn't sure how it was going to go with the two of us alone together for the fourteen minute ride. You looked so nervous and uncomfortable. I was glad to be able to take off my disguise for those few minutes. I really appreciate that I can relax and just be myself around you. Thank you for understanding that being a celebrity can be hard at times because everyone is always watching and judging. Because you accept me as I am, I don't have to worry about the pressure when I am with you. I don't think you know how much that means to me.

Especially after all the media hype and gossip about me that that gravure idol, Sakuria Miuru. It upset me at first that all three of you believed the rumors but I was relieved when you explained that you had not heard about the denial. My heart soared when you said that you believed me because I told you personally. Looking back, that was probably why you seemed reluctant to ask me about the amusement park trip and why you made of point of mentioning that it was on Valentine's Day. You probably thought that I would have a date with Sakuria Miuru. She has been pulling stunts like the taxi photo to make it look like we're together since you were on your school trip to Hokkaido. The more she chases me, the more I appreciate you.

It's funny, but when the ride started I thought the fourteen minutes would feel like an eternity but the time we spent together felt like no time at all. I don't think you know how much it meant to me when you gave me homemade chocolates again this year. You don't need to apologize for homemade chocolates because they mean more to me than the most expensive store-bought ones. I wish I knew how to convince you of just how special you are and how special the things are that you make.

You seemed nervous when I offered you my hand to help you out of the cable car. I can't help wondering if my touch brings out feelings that you don't know how to respond to. Your presence is so comfortable that I tend to relax my guard around you. I didn't mean to embarrass you when I asked to try the churro you were eating. It wasn't until I saw the blush on your face after I took a bite that I realized my actions could have been interpreted as an indirect kiss. Sometimes I just can't think straight when I'm around you.

Thank you for staying with Aoi when I had to follow Takeru and Rio when they took Akane into the haunted house. I don't know why they insisted on taking her with them. Even though she wanted to go, I knew it would be too scary for her. At least I was able to go in and protect Akane from the "ghosts."

It's hard to believe that my twenty-seventh birthday is coming up soon. Like I told you on the ferris wheel, sometimes I wish I was Takeru's age. Although, I was far from carefree when I was his age given my parent's divorce and my university classes, I would be closer to your age. I guess seeing Takeru with Rio made me wish we could have that type of relationship right now. At least you will be turning eighteen in April.

The next month will be a whirlwind of activity as we prepare the twins for the move to Shizouka. I hope we can have some more adventures together as a family before then. I would also like to have some quiet moments with just you to reflect on our time together. It has been a wonderful nearly two years for all of us. I hope that you will be able to spend as much time as possible with us.

Love, Seiji


	27. The Errand

Seiji's Love Letters

Chapter 27 – The Errand

Dear Shiharu,

When you first brought up the subject of allowing the twins to go on an errand by themselves, I was totally against it. After all, they are only three-and-a-half years old. But after we discussed it, I could see your point about not ignoring their enthusiasm (or at least Akane's enthusiasm). It would be wrong to discourage their initiative and desire to help. I'm glad you had the idea to have a whole plan in place before even suggesting anything to Akane and Aoi.

Thank you for all your work in planning and preparing for their errand of going to the store for ketchup to go on the omurice for dinner. Even though it is only a few block and a route they know well, it was good of you to talk to the kaki granny who is on the way. I felt much better about the idea when you suggested that I follow them at a discrete distance as well as getting a disguise from Takeru. Add to that the nametags that you gave them for our first Christmas together than had their name and phone number and arranging with the regular shop clerk in advance, I felt a lot better about the whole plan.

I guess one thing that made me nervous about this errand was a potential kidnapping that I help foil about ten years ago. A boy and girl at least twice the age of the twins was approached by a strange man and he pushed the boy aside and tried to take the girl. My girlfriend and I stepped in and called the police but I think that incident makes me very protective of young children. There are so many scary people out there who think nothing about hurting children rather than protecting them.

The scariest part of the whole errand was the big dog they encountered. They ran away and Akane tripped and fell. Akane expressed the desire to give up and go home. In fact, I was ready to step in when Aoi comforted Akane and reminded her about the ketchup for the omurice. With that they continued on their way, with a few detours.

Watching that interaction between the twins brought to mind how far they have come. I remember when I first saw them just after they were born, looking so small and helpless. Then I saw them again after their mother died and their father disappeared. They were so afraid of strangers. Next I remembered the dance recital at the child care center and marveling at how much they had grown and changed. Here they are growing and changing again. I feel privileged to be part of their life for this brief season.

I admit that I got a little impatient with them. They were easily distracted and the errand took far longer than it should have. Thankfully the shop clerk was able to get them back on track at the store. It was exasperating when they stopped for a snack on the way home but it showed some of the maturity that they are starting to display. When Aoi dropped his snack, Akane was quick to offer to share her snack. That's not something that would have happened not too long ago. You know how Akane is about food, always looking for more to eat.

When they finally made it home with the ketchup, I could tell that you were anxious. It was heartwarming how you welcomed them home and thanked them for their hard work getting the ketchup.

Thank you for all of your hard work setting up their errand. It really did build their confidence and it should help them in the future, knowing that they are trusted and that they can tackle obstacles together. You are incredible in all the ways that you take care of everything—the twins, the house, even me. I don't know how to show you how much I appreciate all you do.

Love, Seiji


	28. Seiji's Birthday

Seiji's Love Letters

Chapter 28 – Seiji's Birthday

Dear Shiharu,

The birthday party that you and the twins threw for me was such a surprise. It has been so long since anyone celebrated my birthday that I had forgotten it was my birthday. I was so shocked when you greeted me with "Happy Birthday" rather than "Welcome home" when I said "I'm home." I have been so preoccupied with the way the twins reacted when I told them about the upcoming move to Shizouka to live with their grandparents. There were no hints that you were planning something like this.

I could tell that you were not expecting Oikawa or Takeru for the birthday party. Their behavior was unacceptable so I hope you didn't mind when I threw them out. I admit I was very jealous when Oikawa grabbed you in a hug. It didn't help that you were so uncomfortable with his actions. With Takeru making such a racket, the only thing I could think to do was throw them out. In the past I would not have done anything like this but I remember how you threw them out of the house when I was sick because they were too loud. I wanted a nice, quiet birthday party with you and the twins.

The origami necklace from the twins was nice. I took it as a sign that they don't completely hate me after I told them about the upcoming move. Thank you for explaining to them that the moves does not mean that we don't love them but that there are a lot of people in Shizouka who also love them and want to get to know them better. I appreciated that Akane told me she loved me. It was a great opportunity to tell Aoi that I understood that he didn't really hate me because of the move and I was able express how much I love both of them

Thank you for the case for my glasses. I needed a case that fit in my pocket but I just hadn't found the right one yet. Also, thank you for the longevity elixir. It reminded me of our talk while we were on the ferris wheel at the amusement park. I hope you know how much it means to me that you listen to what I say and look deeper into what I mean. Thank you for wishing me a long life. I hope to spend a long and happy life with you.

Please keep reminding the twins that we love them and the move to Shizouka will be a new adventure for them. Aoi understands and does not like the idea. I don't think Akane has really processed what the move means yet. You have such a gentle and thoughtful nature that I know you can sooth their fears and encourage their excitement for the changes ahead. I know you have done wonders for me over the past two years.

Love, Seiji


	29. Overnight Visit

Seiji's Love Letters

Chapter 29 – Overnight Visit

Dear Shiharu,

I am so sorry that I had to leave for work as soon as I brought in the luggage after our trip. With the Hina Matsuri celebration television coverage, I couldn't take much time off from work. I wish we had more time to talk before I had to leave but the twins started telling you about the trip before we even got in the door. Was that blush on your face from the memory of our phone call last night? I'm sure Aoi and Akane will tell you about everything.

Thank you for your suggestion about the shampoo and body soap for their bath. Their grandmother really appreciated the care that you took in preparing the twins for this visit, especially since you couldn't come along. Akane and Aoi could not understand that the institute has rules that you have to follow. There is no way that they would allow you to travel overnight with me, even with them and the grandparents there also.

I know that Aoi was not very excited about the trip. Akane was probably excited because she knew she had Hina dolls from her mother waiting for her at her grandparents. Thank you for making the packing an adventure, choosing clothes for the next day and including the familiar snacks and comfort items. I loved watching the way you talked to the twins about how they would need to be able to share their toys if they were going to take them along. I wonder if they would have been so willing to share if you had not been here to teach them. It was so hard to tell you goodbye and leave you there at the house to lock up.

It was good to meet Misaki's cousin, Saori. She was there with her six-year old son, Riku and eleven-month old daughter, Mio. Akane remembered what you taught her when the baby was at the child care center and grandmother and Saori were amazed at how gentle she was with Mio.

I'm sure Akane and Aoi will tell you all about the trouble with Riku. When they were introduced, Riku called Akane "ugly." Aoi defended Akane and told Riku to apologize. I was so proud of him. Then Riku went in and knocked over all the Hina dolls. Even though the adults reprimanded him and told him it was bad behavior, it was Aoi that convinced him to apologize to Akane. Saori explained that Riku was feeling resentful of girls because his new little sister was getting all the attention.

Aoi even shared his Cosmic Ranger toy that be brought along. By the end time Saori needed to leave, Riku was playing happily with Aoi and Akane. It was so good to see them playing together so well. I told their grandmother that, at home Aoi and Akane tend to fight a lot. She told me that Misaki believe that it was good for siblings to fight, as long as they make up in the end. That reminded a lot of you and how you deal with the twins' fights.

Saori apologized that the family was not able to help with the twins when the accident happened because she was expecting Mio and Riku was being a handful. Other members of the family couldn't help because they were caring for the great grandparents. I was humbled when the twins' grandmother told Saori that you and I had been doing a good job and she even showed her the picture of the four of us from the Shichi-go-san trip. I am proud of you, knowing how much their grandmother respects all you've done for us. I am so glad that Aoi and Akane will have extended family with them in Shizouka. It's something I never had and always wished that I did.

The twins really enjoyed their bath with their grandmother since they had the familiar shampoo and body soap from home. They were so much more comfortable in new surroundings with those small constants. The sounds of laughter from the bathroom let me know that they were just fine. Their grandfather expressed delight that the house was alive with kids' laughter again.

While I was settling the twins in bed for the night, their grandmother brought in a book that Misaki had loved as a child. Akane and Aoi asked me to read it to them. They were disappointed because I did not do the voices and actions that went with the story. You have spoiled them in that respect. Their talking about you made me think about how much I missed you. When their grandmother looked in to be sure everything was okay, they asked her to read to them. She agreed and I took that opportunity to step out to call you.

I suppose I could have just made the call there in the room with them but, for some reason, I didn't want to share you at that moment. Even though it was just this morning that we saw each other, I just needed to hear your voice. If the twins were here they would want to talk to you about everything and I wouldn't get a chance. I knew I would see you the next day when we got home but I just couldn't wait. Just talking to you for those few minutes made my day, especially when you told me "good night."

Love, Seiji


	30. White Day Again

Seiji's Love Letters

Chapter 30 – White Day Again

Dear Shiharu,

Tomorrow is White Day again. Thanks to the rumors about me and Sakurai Miuru, I received a lot fewer chocolates this year. That's a small blessing for all of that unfounded gossip. You gave me chocolates again this year and that's all that matters to me. It was so different last year when I received huge amounts of chocolate from female admirers. I had no idea what to get you last year so Oikawa had to give me some ideas and that's why I got you the dish with candy.

This year I know exactly what I want to get for you. There were just some preparation that I needed to do in advance. First I visited the graves of your parents to contemplate their point of view on our potential relationship. What would they think of the nine-year gap in our ages? Would they consider a television announcer a suitable husband for their daughter? I spent a lot of time considering what I wanted to do versus what I should to. What is best for you has to be my first priority.

Next, I had to purchase the gift I wanted to give you. I saw Takeru and Rio shopping there at the same time and I couldn't help but wonder what they were doing in a jewelry store. Of course, I was probably projecting, given my shopping focus. I'm just glad they didn't notice me or they might have spoiled the surprise. At least I didn't run into Oikawa this year or he would have really gotten the wrong idea.

Finally, I planned out how I would tell you how I feel and the conclusions that I came to after talking to your parents. I have to admit that I am nervous about tomorrow evening. I just hope you will return my feelings.

Love, Seiji

Shiharu looked up after she finished reading the last letter to see Seiji standing in the doorway watching her. He was blushing and looking a little nervous.

She smiled gently at him and said, "I had no idea. Though I guess that does explain why you avoided me so much during those first five years." Straightening the pages and putting the clip back on them, she slipped the letters back into the envelope.

"I sometimes wondered if I should have given them to you five years ago when I asked to shorten the time," said Seiji.

Shiharu smiled and answered, "No, I think now is just the right time for these letters. After we move into the house, it will be nice to go through these letters together and remember all the good times we had with Aoi and Akane as we await the arrival of our own twins."

Seiji replied, "That's a good idea. I would like to hear your impression of the events that I wrote about in those letters."

Glancing at her watch, Shiharu commented, "It's getting late. Did you find out all you needed here?"

"Yes, everything looks to be in good shape. I think it only needs a good cleaning. We already have the bed for the master bedroom. We should probably make a trip to the Home Center to look at cribs and other items for the nursery," Seiji noted.

"Well, at least we have a couple months before the twins arrive so there's no hurry," Shiharu replied. "Let's head home and pick up some dinner on the way."

Seiji chuckled, "That sounds good to me."

"We should have a party when we move in and invite the twins, Kouichi, and the Takegawas," Shiharu suggested. "Maybe Takeru and his family as well as Rio would be available as well."

"That's a good idea. They've all be part of the memories we made here," Seiji replied. "Just so long as we exclude Oikawa. I don't think I could handle him being around you, even though we are married."

"Speaking of married, do you think Aoi has finally forgiven me for my marrying you even though he asked you first?" Seiji chuckled.

Shiharu replied, "He might, given that he has his eye on a cute girl at school…or so Akane says."

Shiharu and Seiji paused in the entry to put their shoes back on. Seiji opened the door and Shiharu slipped through. After locking the front door, he put his arm around Shiharu as they walked to the car. After helping Shiharu into the car, Seiji walked around a got in.

Before he started the car, he looked over at Shiharu and said, "While it will be nice to think about all the fun times we had here with the twins, I'm looking forward to the new memories that we will be making here in the future with our own little family."


	31. Author's Note

Seiji's Love Letters

Author's Note

This is my first fanfic. I thank my three oldest daughters for introducing me to manga, anime, and fanfiction.

I turned 50 at the beginning of this year and was feeling like I needed some fun in my life. My girls suggested Sword Art Online, Ouran High School Host Club, Studio Ghibli, , and Archive of Our Own. I stumbled across the mangas Love so Life, The Earl and the Fairy, and Life so Happy while looking into their suggestions.

I am no writer. You might be able to tell by my username, beancounter22765, that I am more comfortable with numbers than words.

I hope you all enjoyed my flight of fancy about Seiji and Shiharu. I am thankful to Kouchi Kaede for her amazing work on Love so Life and Life so Happy.


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